@pixelatedboat: I was bitten by a crow, since then I've had the proportionate strength, speed, and agility of a guy who is bleeding from the head a bit
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@JCWisdomNuggets: Hey Dads who think that being home with the kids alone is called "babysitting". You're wrong. It's called "parenting". Not the same.
@CornOnTheGoblin: "You promise you didn't get me bees again" [me from a distance] just open it