@pixelatedboat: I was bitten by a crow, since then I've had the proportionate strength, speed, and agility of a guy who is bleeding from the head a bit
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@AndyRichter: HEADLINE: Recent Studies Show Old White Dudes Possibly Becoming Obsolete. "This is bad for everybody," say Old White Dudes.
@fro_vo: Grandma: can you call out the bingo numbers? Me: idk i've never done it B4 Gma: holy shit you’re a natural
@jeffporper: Just ordered a pizza and jogged past my gym holding it over my head like the Olympic torch.