@RegularFred: I was braised by wild cannibals.
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@Fickle_Filly: Sorry I dressed up like Captain Caveman when you asked me if I wanted to go clubbing.
@Book_Krazy: Me: How did Mrs. Incredible know to name her son Dash if she didnt know what his superpower was yet? Cashier: so was that paper or plastic?
@zachreinert03: My friend said a baby crying is the best form of birth control but there was a baby bawling next door all night & my girlfriend got pregnant
@ArfMeasures: DOCTOR: This man needs blood! DRACULA: And this man needs soup! WAITER: Why do you two order like this?