@RegularFred: I was braised by wild cannibals.
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@Cheeseboy22: The bright side of getting attacked by a Cyclops is only having to use half the pepper spray.
@trojansauce: *drinks milkshake* *runs to yard* *sifts through all the boys* *sighs* *puts up more posters for missing son*
@jdforshort: If you need me, I'll be in the bathroom I guess it's finally time to shave my legs for spring *Walks away with hedge trimmers
@kwirkyKerri: Facebook tells me those vans are dangerous, but Twitter says they have candy. So conflicted.