@mortimermaiden: I was caught in a nuclear reactor with a jar of spiders in my pocket, so now I'm half man, half jar.
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@lloydrang: People who tweet about politics should have to pass a small test: if i say "Oh, look, a dead bird," and you look UP, we take your phone away
@letschillyo: iPhones need a feature where an incoming call doesn’t take up the whole screen so u can do other things while u ignore a phone call
@ohpeetie: My hobbies include reading books, eating snacks, and sending emails referencing attachments without the attachments.