@thebeckyard: I was completely offended, but then you said "no offense," so now everything's cool.
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@desijourno: When in doubt, ignore an unknown number on your mobile, never hit Reply All, and always wear clothes when you step out of your house.
@rickkondell: I overheard two female coworkers say there was a creepy dude listening to their conversation.
@VeryLonelyLuke: Kylo Ren used to complain his parents were passive aggressive. Well, boo hoo. My dad was actively aggressive. Just ask my hand.