@ch000ch: i was doing yard work today when i stopped to tell a pile of leaves how cold fusion works. needless to say they were blown away.
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@lizetagge: Men can read maps better than women. Cause only the male mind could conceive of one inch equalling a hundred miles.
@XplodingUnicorn: Sometimes I wonder how such beautiful kids can really be mine. Then my 4-year-old opens a door and runs into the door frame. Then I know.
@fillthevacuum: *checks pockets for phone 53 times before jumping in pool* *skinny dips to be on the safe side*