@BourbonLuv: I was drinking at the bar, so I took a bus home. That may not be a big deal to you, but I've never driven a bus before!
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@PeachyPixel8: You have tattoos and curves? *unbuttons pants* You're also batshit crazy? *takes off pants* You listen to Paramore? *puts on clothes*
@aidanjsears: *sees a car with a "how am i driving" bumper sticker* *calls the phone number* ME: buddy i think it's with a steering wheel
@ANastyGorilla: If Justin Beiber and Rebecca Black were both drowning and you could only save one, would you grab a bite to eat or finish mowing the lawn?
@josh___grant: I wear my tattoos on the inside. Ever since having discount back surgery from a guy named "Spider."