@juneohara65: I was eliminated as a contestant on Fear Factor after running screaming from a bee.
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@WoodyLuvsCoffee: Cop: This is a ticket for drunk and disorderly behavior. Me: Can I have another? I'd like to bring a guest.
@RidiculousSheri: [on a date] *don't let him know you're a bird* Him: I'll drive us. I just had my car cleaned and detailed. Me: *poops all over windshield*
@Jandalize: I accidental typed sinroof instead of sunroof and I may have just invented the greatest thing ever.
@Bob_Janke: I still say a wasp's nest chucked through the window would be the ideal way to end any hostage situation. Nobody's hanging around in there.