@TheSeanBrewster: I was feeling depressed, then saw a guy with one arm and thought "oh man, I could be getting so much more sympathy if I was missing an arm!"
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@salmarch79: I went around the block with my bike for the first time in years and now I understand why Lance Armstrong took performance enhancing drugs.
@_alexwray: [couple inviting me somewhere] Why yes I'd love to accompany you as a third wheel, it is my most favorite of all the wheels, wheels I love
@Izianikapani: Construction sites are dangerous places. I nearly blacked out holding in my stomach as I walked past one.