@mattytalks: I was fired from my job at the sperm bank for saying "get a load of this guy" every time someone walked in
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@Scorpio1080: Don't let people push you around. Unless it's in a wagon, because that shit is fun!
@Kyle_Lippert: Steps to getting into her pants: 1) Wait for her to fall asleep 2) Take her pants off 3) Put them on yourself 4) Find a top that matches
@RowdyBowden: We're gathered here today to mourn the loss of Derek. His last words were "Watch me try and keep my eyes open while sneezing!"