@twitdeedum: I was going to do the dishes but they weren't in the mood.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@EndhooS: Do you know how fast you were going sir? "15,000mph?" Wha? No,like 65? "Seems pretty slow wouldn't you say?" I guess so. "Ok bye" bye?
@iamspacegirl: Me *writing*: she was like 12 slices of key lime pie in a dress- tart, cool, totally whipped. Her: I can hear you. Me: she could hear me
@super_morgasm: Facebook is great! It reminds me to go to the gym and take my birth control so I don't end up like everyone I went to high school with.
@AdderallMomma: Folks are worried about global warming and social security, when the real crisis is that one day elderly drivers will know how to text.