@JesKeepSwimming: I was going to spend the next 6 years studying medicine to become a doctor. Then I realized I could just like Facebook photos to save lives.
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@Brianhopecomedy: Let my 4 year old score his first goal on me in hockey & he said, "NA NA, you couldn't stop me!" so he also received his first cross-check.
@bridger_w: When I die, please bury me wrapped in a sheet. That way I won't have to look for one when I become a ghost
@Bunnydurden: I wish mirrors and cameras would get together and figure out what I really look like.