@knot_eye: I was gonna do a tweet about Albert Einstein's IQ but I couldn't get it under 140.
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@Fred_Delicious: [At work] "guys check this out" [Tries to do the fake walking downstairs thing but gets it wrong & walks up into the air] "Holy shit help"
@brunopieroni: Does WebMD ever just say "you're fine, there's nothing wrong with you, go play outside you drama queen?"
@EJGomez: angel of God: mary u shall give birth to the son of God himself & he shall be named Jesus & shall die on a cross mary: i have a boyfriend