@TheHistoryBook: "I was gonna go and save the princess, but then I got high.." - Super Mario
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@VerifiedJayy: Put glitter on top of all your friends ceiling fans blades. Wait til spring Enjoy
@generaldietz: NEMESIS: i hate you ME: i hate me too. and the enemy of my enemy is my friend NEMESIS: so can you stay the night? ME: i'll ask my mom
@BackrowSeats: This woman at the bar said "move, you're blocking the door" & I'm like strange pickup line but sure here's my number.