@TheHistoryBook: "I was gonna go and save the princess, but then I got high.." - Super Mario
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@SortaBad: John: Yesterday... Paul: All my troubles seemed so far away George: But now it looks... Ringo: Waterslides hurt if they aren't wet enough
@ibid78: "I see your bet and raise you all my hair since 6th grade. Oh and this pen." "Sir that's not- "You got a problem with pens?"
@kyry5: [God creating the stingray] Ya know Peter, I was getting out of the shower this morning and thought "what if I made my bathmat a murderer?"
@tat2dsoccermom: My boyfriend said he wanted me to be more affectionate, so now I have TWO boyfriends.