@AnkCoupleTO: I was gonna make a run for the border, but I remembered I'm in Canada so nah
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@robfee: No matter how lazy you feel, just remember that Goldilocks decided to take a nap during a b&e.
@carlyken: So how do you stop eating the endless breadsticks at Olive Garden does the restaurant close or are you supposed to bring a spotter with you?
@Jay_FrickinLynn: [Giving a toast] "It was when I was entering blackout that I realized I forgot the Plan B at home. Happy 1st birthday, you little accident."
@PaperWash: Before I go out binge drinking I always eat a stick of butter. It doesn't do anything I just make really poor life choices.