@itshotterhere: I was gonna take a selfie, but I just checked the mirror and I still have the same face.
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@KKAlThani: I make the stupidest excuses just to skip the gym. *burns tongue while drinking coffee* "Oh no! I really wanted to go to the gym today!"
@Deurb1: She sent me a text saying she wearing something special for me... but every time I ask her what, she says ~ Nothing.
@candace_9871: Boss approaches, I frantically close my google image search of cats hugging, only to show a new window of cats in formal wear. I get fired.
@thezachmaginnis: My sister told me to "take the spider out" instead of "kill" it. So we went and had some drinks. Cool guy. Wants to be a lawyer.