@lecalabara: I was holding the door for an Asian guy and he said "sank you." So I punched him. Cant believe that he brought up Pearl Harbor lke that
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@KhrisWarhol: McDonalds can't extend their breakfast hours because at 10:01am, the eggs become self aware.
@OhNoSheTwitnt: Some coworkers sign emails with "cheers" or "sincerely" followed by their names but I typically use "you've made a powerful enemy today."
@TheMichaelRock: It's sad that we live in a world where we'll add a word to the dictionary if stupid people use it enough.
@caperbc75: "Hey Frosty, calm down on the snacks. You're getting fat. Check out this six pack! You could do laundry on it!" - the Abdominal Snowman