@Swishergirl24: I was hoping to lose weight when I quit drinking, but it turns out that's not how pregnancy works.
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@Rachelnoise: 15: MOM, WHERE'S MY NIRVANA SHIRT?! Me: Name THREE songs & I'll help you look for it. 15: ...
@matny: I want to follow a random family around Disneyland for a day and just be in the background of all of their photos.
@justabloodygame: A cemetery foreman discovers that his employees cremated a body he explicitly told them to bury. "You've made a grave mistake!" He fumes.