@Swishergirl24: I was hoping to lose weight when I quit drinking, but it turns out that's not how pregnancy works.
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@sageboggs: KANYE: I made Taylor Swift famous TRUMP: We should ban all Muslims KANYE: BILL COSBY INNOCENT TRUMP: THE POPE SUCKS KANYE: damn ur good
@kcmoore51: Me: I made you a playlist... Her: OMG! THAT'S SO ROMANTIC! Me: It only has songs about food.
@CulturedRuffian: I rarely eat kale chips, but when I do-I eat them condescendingly and self-righteously.