@Black__Elvis: I was in an Arby's bathroom taking a leak and the urinal cake fell to the floor but it was there for less than 5 seconds so I still ate it.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@BrownDogBlanket: I started an organization for the ethical treatment of plants. Because we shouldn't eat the things that make oxygen. Your move Vegans
@_NinJar: [museum] Wheres the dinosaur bone exhibit? "through that door" Thank you very ruff! "What'd you say?" *2 dogs fall out of trench coat & run*
@amydillon: Married foreplay is just five minutes of confusion about whether your spouse is using a suggestive euphemism or asking you to do a chore.
@RandiLawson: CBS Fall Line-Up: Big Bang Theory Young Sheldon Old Sheldon Ghost Sheldon CSI Sheldon Last Sheldon Standing America's Got Sheldons