@wolfpupy: i was just about to ramp my car off a cliff into the ocean but then i remembered someone had told me to drive safe earlier
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@DaddyJew: Imagine being rich enough you could take your car in to get looked at every time the check engine light came on
@WheelTod: Now kids have it easy. When I was young, the hot singles in my area had to walk the streets yelling they wanted sex with me thru a megaphone
@djdarrellripley: Why do they put Valentines Day candy in a box shaped like a heart? It's kind of like eating ice cream out of a lung...
@UnFitz: In the beginning there was darkness. Because my dad had gone around shutting off every light in the world to save energy.