@DallyDoll: I was kicked out of the gym for arguing with my step aerobics instructor, but I don't care. She's not my real aerobics instructor.
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@rachelle_mandik: Whoever made the almond-milk carton the exact same shape as the chicken-broth carton should have to eat this cereal.
@davedittell: they say if you love something let it go but tell that to my dead husband I dropped into a volcano from this helicopter and he'd disagree
@BuckyIsotope: "Honey, did you leave your tools out in the backyard?" *sounds of sawing* Oh no *backyard is filled with dads building a deck* Get the hose
@HeyZeus666: What if God IS a woman. Not only will I be going to Hell, but I'll never hear the end of it.