@PJTLynch: I was laughing at these nerds for wearing their backpack over two shoulders instead of one, and they got so mad they jumped out of the plane
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@Home_Halfway: "How do we spell this pasta?" L "Ok" A "Got it" S "Neat" A "Diggin it" G "What the hell" N "Wait" A "I have some questions"
@thatdutchperson: Clerk: Why do you need 200 condoms? Me: I have a beard and an accent. *winks* *Spends night making balloon animals
@OffTheHutch: "So send me a picture of you..." *sends* "Look I need to leave very abruptly and extremely forever."