@PJTLynch: I was laughing at these nerds for wearing their backpack over two shoulders instead of one, and they got so mad they jumped out of the plane
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@XplodingUnicorn: My 3-year-old was counting on her fingers in the other room. She finished at 9. I am concerned on so many levels right now.
@OrangeFact: If an Orange tries to sell you drugs, don't buy them. Chances are you've already done enough drugs.
@thenatewolf: HUMAN BODY: I can grow a fully formed human baby in like 9 months. I'm talking brain, functioning respiratory system, eyeballs, everything. ME: Cool, cool. How long will it take for my twisted ankle to feel better? HUMAN BODY: 7 years and it will never be the same.