@Dutch_50: I was offering free mammograms in the company parking lot long before my employer was doing it.
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@daemonic3: [cow pushing 5 shopping carts out of store] Ugh, why do I keep shopping for groceries on 4 empty stomachs
@Midgetspar: If I had a fake leg it would be a see-thru plastic one full of jelly beans and I'd only charge kids a dime for a handful like the old days.
@RandomAntics: Prisons and psych wards in movies always make it seem like an indignity, but I think it'd be nice to receive food through a slot in my door.
@leechee420: You can be anyone you want on twitter, so I'm a little surprised so many guys chose "creepy weird dude."