@Dutch_50: I was offering free mammograms in the company parking lot long before my employer was doing it.
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@rockymomax: [buys ghostbusters ringtone] ME: who ya gonna call? [1 hour later] ME: who ya gonna call?! [2 days later] ME: *sobbing* I am so lonely
@ShaneKnowsStuff: I don't know about you, but I always watch my garage door go all the way down in case a murderer tries to roll in at the last minute.
@primawesome: I'm an adult, and I can eat whatever I want whenever I want, and I wish someone would take this power from me.
@1followernodad: Fun prank: ONLY explain gay marriage to your kids and then watch other people try to explain their weird straight marriages.