@ericonederful: I was on a date and my credit card got declined. Her credit card got declined too. Then I knew I was in love.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@TheBoydP: The old saying about pissed off waiters applies to everyone really. I’m fairly certain the guy at Home Depot just spit on my mulch.
@emmatheist: [Google search history] Moles How to kill moles How to make homemade bombs Rescue moles from cave-in Dealing with regret Mole stew
@Bedlam_Beersie: Jesus: ... when you saw only one set of footprints, that's when I was carrying you. Me: What about that spot with lots of footprints? Jesus: I didn't want to alarm you, but I did also fight some ninjas who were stalking us.