@DanLaMorte: I was on a date with a girl and she said "did you notice my finger nails?" And I was like "yes" and she was like "well I have no arms"
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@dorsalstream: Your 20s: I will strive for goodness and peace in this troubled world. Your 40s: Every single chair is terrible.
@Illiter8: The tattoos in your shirtless avi say 'bad boy'; the flowered wallpaper behind you scream 'living in mom's sewing room'.
@skele_tim: CAT VAMPIRE: let me in! ME: ok CAT VAMPIRE: you fool! now I will suck your bl- ME: *closes door* CAT VAMPIRE: ... CAT VAMPIRE: let me out