@BigRadMachine: I was once accused of stealing money from work. I didn't do it but it was nice to know management also thought I wasn't getting paid enough.
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@wickedsuga: DON'T TOUCH ME! AND YOU'RE BREATHING WRONG! STOP IT! -wives, on their period Or if they're hungry. Or if you are actually breathing wrong.
@jared_ish: I am not "aware" of any "laws" that "forbid" the use of excessive "air quotes" officer "Barnes."
@TheWadest: Me: *unfreezes cro-magnon woman I uncover on an arctic expedition* Cro-magnon woman: "I have a boyfriend."