@BigRadMachine: I was once accused of stealing money from work. I didn't do it but it was nice to know management also thought I wasn't getting paid enough.
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@david8hughes: God: Noah, I need an ark. Noah: Why don't you ask Joseph, the carpenter? God: Uh [huge grin] cos I'm banging his wife? [raises hand] up top?
@DirtMcTurd: 6: Dad what's a Kardashian? Me: Nobody really knows... 6: Sounds really stupid Me: I love you
@JizzIam: Called my mum to tell her I was stuck in a rut. She yells that life is tough, get on with it & hangs up. I'm now waiting on a tow truck.
@SwoonTwang: If I had a nickel for every time someone called me OCD I'd have 27 dollars and 15 cents.