@brianbowman73: I was once put in the 'friend zone," but with perseverance that all changed. I'm now in the 'must stay 200 yards away at all times zone.'
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@showersthinker: Watching Jeopardy backwards would be about a panel of 3 people asking Alex Trebek questions that he always gets right.
@riscfuture: Imagine if last names were invented now, so instead of “Smith” and “Baker,” we had “Frontenddeveloper” and “Socialmediaconsultant.”
@iGreenMonk: I told the bank teller that I was changing banks & wanted to open an account "Great. What's the name of your former bank?" I said, "Piggy"
@tbhjustkoaIa: i love when people apologize to me about their rooms being dirty I’m just like lmao u should see my life