@brianbowman73: I was once put in the 'friend zone," but with perseverance that all changed. I'm now in the 'must stay 200 yards away at all times zone.'
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@darrinfb: You never really realize how messed up your family is, until you start describing them to people that don't know them.
@einsteinsexual: Stereotypes are just like regular types, except every time someone almost kills me, while I'm driving, it's an Asian person.
@GeauxSaints79: 911: I'd like to report a Twief! 911: What? A Twurglar! 911: I don't follow You can't catch em like that. Hurry they're getting stars!
@sacha_is_good: "If you could take one thing from a burning house, what would it be?" THE FIRE. I WOULD TAKE THE FIRE AND PUT IT OUTSIDE. Easy. Next.