@leifromloihi: i was one of the palm trees waving around in the background of every 16 bit game in the 90's so yes random guy you do know me from somewhere
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@YeahDrewisOn: Sure he's handsome, funny, smart, charming and successful, but can he fit 54 M&M's in his mouth at once? I didn' fink fo
@pleatedjeans: [standing in driveway with wife] I thought we agreed on a Prius [giant eagle pecks at saddle] NO THIS IS BETTER
@HiddenPinky: Will I ever be a good parent? *shakes baby* Wait a minute, if you're here [cut to Magic 8-Ball in crib]
@pmclellan: To avoid taking down my Christmas lights, I'm making my house into an Italian restaurant.