@MaraWritesStuff: I was only mildly famous in the '90s but vaccinate your kids
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@BatmanOffDuty: *buying a dog* Is this a good dog? "Oh yeah, very good dog." Do any tricks? "No, I'm clean, selling dogs now."
@hazelmotes1: My wife is all, "we love each other so much we finish each other's sentences," until it comes to a prison sentence.
@AGStr8upNinja: If only people were named after their tattoo's. This guy standing in front of me in Petro Canada Would be named Machine gun-Snake-Jesus.
@monks_19: If McDonalds sold hot dogs would you be able to (w/ a straight face) order a McWeiner and tell them to supersize it?