@thejakeshenry: I was pretty excited about this box of elbows before I saw that it was only macaroni.
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@NoogsCorner: Take Dr. Seuss, make him a black midget with chronic asthma and give him access to Urban Dictionary. Behold, Lil' Wayne.
@sarcasm_inc: [a spider watching soccer when someone kicks a ball into the net] hell yeah, now eat it
@suzieQ0007: At a wedding where the minister told everyone to stand next to the person who makes life worth living. The bartender was almost trampled.