@Black__Elvis: I was raised by my grandfather clock because my biological clock was never there.
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@jonnysun: my son just asked me where do pizzas come from adn has yet to ask me where do babeys come from. thats my boy
@usermcuserface: Tonight we dine in hell! (Dies in battle) Hi, Take a seat in the booth with the 3 vegans. Your beets and kale will be out soon. Oh shit...
@4handfuls: Him: Well, when life hands you lemons... Narrator: Life only needed him to hold the lemons so it could punch him in the face.
@ambermruffin: Now that the Statue of Liberty is dark, there's no way they're letting her into the U.S.