@JD_Barney: I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"
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@gibbet: "IT'S A BOY" I shouted, tears rolling down my face "I DON'T BELIEVE IT. A BOY!" It was at that moment I chose never to visit Thailand again.
@Tmoney68: When in doubt, just do the opposite of whatever the person wearing pajamas in public is doing.
@YourFavMexi_Can: "I hope she got fat, I hope she got fat" - me looking up an ex girlfriend on Facebook.