@JD_Barney: I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"
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@trevso_electric: I used to pretend that broccoli florets were treetops and I was a giant eating up the forest while my Dad pretended he had a manly son.
@TheToddWilliams: An entire cheerleader civilization was wiped out in the eruption at Pompompeii.
@ThisLocalHater: [During sex] Me: I know you want me to be "naughty", but I can barely breathe in this Hamburglar costume.