@GrabTheWEness: I was really into the idea of Salsa dancing, until I learned there are no chips. Or salsa.
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@mikeleffingwell: When people argue about sports and one says "Care to make it interesting" I assume they're going to start talking about something else.
@Home_Halfway: "Do you know how fast you were going?" 75 in a 55. I'm sorry officer. "Get out of the car." *Cop cuddles driver* "Stop doing this. I worry."
@Reverend_Scott: 911: What's your emer- She said don't get her anything for Valentine's Day! 911: And you didn't? No! 911: Placing you in protective custody.