@DamienFahey: I was really moved by The Great Gatsby. Specifically, to the theater showing Iron Man 3.
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@StellaGMaddox: My daughter wrote, "I will see you every day of our lives," on my Mother's Day card, so I guess we've resorted to threats now.
@HomeProbably: I've received so many Christmas cards from people I don't know this year, probably because they weren't addressed to me.
@jergarl: I walked out naked one time and she's like wtf. And I'm like this is how god made me! And she's like no that's how beer and tacos made you.
@markydoodoo: Marry someone who loves Hawaiian pizza so you can just get your own good tasting pizza all to yourself.