@KKBowls: I was riding a horse once and its leg broke, so I had to shoot it -- everyone on the carousel freaked out.
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@Reverend_Scott: Is athlete's foot [gulp] fatal, doc? "Not with the proper treatment." *gives foot $56M 7-year contract*
@TheHyyyype: ME: seen the loch ness monster? HER: it's not real M: *unzips pants* wanna bet? H: *rolls eyes* sure M: k i'll pee and then we'll google it
@KeetPotato: "chill before serving" is the best advice I can think of if you're an angry waitress
@WalkingOutside: Kids are like doughnuts. Sweet and yummy but more than one, maybe two, and you're like, "What the hell have I done?"