@GensPlace: I was ringing this 0800 number for two days before I realised it was their opening hours.
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@1followernodad: the thing about the weather getting colder is that it makes you think you want to date someone when what you want is heavy socks
@onion_an: Kids: Dad why have you never taken us swimming [thinking of an excuse because I can't swim] Me: I got killed by a shark once
@KatieKatCubs: My dad likes to come to my office & tell the receptionist he's my parole officer in case you were wondering how I turned out like this.