@Breadery: Her: I like the man-horsey in this film. He's hot. Me: Centaur. H: What? M: Centaur H: Is that his name? M: I want a divorce.

@goldengateblond: You call what I just did walking into a wall. I call it looking for walls I can pass through and marking that one off the list.

@caliluvgirl77: If you slowly put your fingers in someone's mouth, they will quit telling you about their day at work.

@juneohara65: Halloween: The one day I can flap my arms like a bat and nobody asks any questions.

@Black__Elvis: I’m hot blooded, check it & see/ I got a fever of 103/ why’s everyone on the bus screaming/ maybe I shoulda wiped off the rectal thermometer