@causticbob: I was so busy yesterday, my smart phone had 75% battery left at the end of the day.
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@HeidiCF8: Making everyone happy is impossible. But pissing them off is a piece of cake. I like cake.
@hardlyrelevant: (pretending to be well-read to impress a girl) War and Peace? Yeah I loved that one “What was your favorite part?” I’d have to say the Peace
@AddTequila: My son: "Dad what's a douche bag?" Me: see that guy sitting with his friends wearing a Bluetooth?....