@Kirangandhi: I was so depressed dat my ATM displayed someone else's balance to cheer me up
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@OhSweetCharity: Damn boy, are you my yoga class? Because I want to get hot and sweaty with you in 37 different poses and then not be able to walk tomorrow.
@mishakey: If you stop at a yellow light I'm going to assume you have something illegal in your car.
@lovemydogduck: Some of my co-workers want to go hang out tonight. Trying to figure how to fake my death and still make it into work tomorrow.
@Home_Halfway: We all make fun of Kristen Stewart for her wide variety of facial expressions, but she'd probably kick all our asses in poker.