@Tylerosis: I say I want a gf but I don't even know what I'd do with one. Do you just kiss her and leave her alone in a corner? How often does it eat?
@ValeeGrrl: Other parents do back-to-school pics of kids holding signs w/ their grade on it & mine are just a series of selfies w/ me & the bus driver.
@tastefactory: Car commercials grossly overestimate how much time I spend driving around in the desert
@Kyle_Lippert: "I love u"
"Umm isn't it a bit too soon to say I love you?"
"Oh ha I meant the letter U. What's your fav u word? Mine is Unreciprocated lol"
@unravelingfire: If plastic bags could be used as currency, my mom would be on a Forbes list.
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