@Sassafrantz: I was so surprised when he said those three little words to me: "You're embarrassingly bad at math. This is over."
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@NewDadNotes: DHS: Do you known Anakin Skywalker? Darth Vader: Im An... DHS: he owes 22 years back child support for twins Darth Vader: I think he died
@murrman5: since you're having surgery tomorrow, get here early and remember no eating after midnight "because of nausea?" no, because you're a gremlin
@zachreinert03: In Texas you're allowed to shoot someone just for being on your property. Man if I lived there I'd host sooo many parties
@RuffaloShuffle: Arnold Schwarzenegger glancing up excitedly and then looking away disappointedly multiple times while watching the intro to "Hey Arnold"