@Sassafrantz: I was so surprised when he said those three little words to me: "You're embarrassingly bad at math. This is over."
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@squirrel74wkgn: *walks in restroom reading phone* *opens stall door & starts peeing* Guy (pooping while staring at his phone): DUDE, WHAT THE...
@KimmyMonte: How to tell if your cat is a dog: 1) it barks 2) it doesn't hate you 3) someone once said aw cute dog 4) it's like a horse but slower