@UnderTheJewFro: I was starving earlier so I opened up a beanbag chair. There were no beans, only styrofoam. Im furious, Im hungry and I have nowhere to sit.
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@chris_isloi: I'm going to subtly spread my brownie crums across your car because I silently resent you for changing the song.
@LeaMehanna: Wearing high heels and releasing doves at weddings are so last century. I'll be wearing running shoes and releasing chickens at mine
@ElizaBayne: Name brands really are better. For instance, I just found out that the Tide pen works much better on stains than regular pens