@UnderTheJewFro: I was starving earlier so I opened up a beanbag chair. There were no beans, only styrofoam. Im furious, Im hungry and I have nowhere to sit.
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@david8hughes: [laser tag] Instructor: Dude, you're not gonna run out of ammo Me [strapping bayonet to the end of gun]: let's just agree to disagree
@Pro_Jones_: Me: Boss our sales are really going updog. Boss: You mean up? Me: No, updog. Boss: What's updog? Me: Not our sales. We're bankrupt.