@mishakey: I was tailgating a slow driver earlier. He brake checked, flipped me off, and when that didn't work he turned his police lights on. Jerk.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@BuckyIsotope: When you gaze into the abyss sometimes the abyss pats you gently on the hand and says she's just not that into you.
@Elizasoul80: What do you get if you cross a bear and a wolf? You get eaten is what you get. Stop upsetting scary animals.
@sunexplode: Act happy in the supermarket checkout line to contradict the sad story unfolding on the conveyor belt.
@RealDMK: If I ever go missing, just follow my kids. They can find me no matter where I try to hide!