@Nahdude83: I was thinking about robbing this sperm bank, but I think they've already seen me coming.
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@QwertyJones3: [speed dating] I enjoy gardening. I've got a bit of a green thumb. Actually several of my fingers are discolored. I think I have diabetes.
@caperbc75: My dream girl? Dirty blond hair, strong arms, cold eyes, immaculately shaped facial hair, no remorse -Are you describing Chuck Norris? Yes
@DadandBuried: "Try it, it's so good!" "Come on, man. Just a taste." "I'm having some. Mmmm." "Trust me." Feeding my 2yo makes me feel like a drug dealer.