@Nahdude83: I was thinking about robbing this sperm bank, but I think they've already seen me coming.
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@TheSharona06: At the grocery store, buying 6 of the same item Cashier: Are these good? Me: No. I'm buying all of them just to save others from suffering
@LittleMissZesty: No matter how good your raspberry body wash smells, don't be tempted to drizzle it over your ice cream. I've been burping bubbles for days.
@markleggett: MAJOR TOM: Tell my wife I love her very much… GROUND CONTROL: She knows. MAJOR TOM: Wait… Is she with you now? GROUND CONTROL: Bye, Tom.
@Dank_Pal: They updated the Raggedy Ann doll to Swaggedy Ann. She comes with an iPhone, divorced parents, and 3 pairs of heelys