@causticbob: I was told that exercise helps with your decision making. It's true. After going to the gym earlier I've decided I'm never going again.
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@Dildo_Hitler: Bruce Willis reaches for his iPhone but accidentally grabs his iPad and screams because he thinks he's shrunk
@Try2StopME: A Guy Doing Push Ups 'One.. Two.. Three..' *A Girl Passes by..* Guy: "82.. 83.. 84.."
@_The_Man__: wife: im pregnant me: what? im not ready to be a mother we still have petty arguments wife: im the mother me: this is what I'm talking about
@Reverend_Scott: Mistakes married men make: 1. Doing things. 2. Not doing things. 3. Thinking about doing things. 4. Not thinking about doing things.