@bees_wingz: I was trying to get the bubbles out of my screen protector and I accidentally bought a horse on eBay.
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@LindaInDisguise: I hope my husband never gets Alzheimer's but if he does, I imagine my favorite part will be saying "I gave you one yesterday."
@perlapell: Hey Young Girls, when a first date suggests you two go to "your place", take him to Target.
@SusanRinell: Speed-dating, but it's just me going from table to table stealing fries from unsuspecting couples gazing longingly into each other's eyes