@bees_wingz: I was trying to get the bubbles out of my screen protector and I accidentally bought a horse on eBay.
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@KentWGraham: When I awoke from the car accident in a full bodycast, my wife was right at my bedside to let me know that childbirth is still more painful.
@juliussharpe: Cologne - because people shouldn't have a choice whether or not they want to smell you.
@girlontapas: How is it that my kids can never find their own shoes but... Easily find the one ice cream sandwich I hid behind the peas in the freezer.