@Bob_Janke: I was watching you while you slept. You look pretty stupid.
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@rachelle_mandik: HIM: If you're upset that people think you're weird, have you tried being less weird? ME: [eating ice cream with chopsticks] Yes.
@BlairLoudly: One time I threw my cat at a spider so I could escape, but sure I'd love to hold your baby
@JermHimselfish: Your hands aren't tied down when you're at the dentist, you're allowed to put your hands in his mouth too.