@BeTheCookie: I washed a man in Reno just to watch him dry.
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@Lisabug74: TV: Are you prepared for an earthquake? *thinks about the 175 Hot Pockets in the freezer* Me: Yes.
@Home_Halfway: WIFE: We really need to think about sticking to our monthly budget ME: *feeding my pet octopus a bag of emeralds* I agree