@MrsJekyllsHyde: I wasn't mad. Then you asked me 12 times if I was mad. Well, now I'm mad.
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@KentWGraham: Before couples have children, they should walk head-on into a Category 5 hurricane to make sure they’re ready.
@SocialExtortion: How to pick up women: 1-approach beautiful lady 2-bend at the knees 3-lift gently 4-oh god she's screaming 5-put her down the cops are here
@markleggett: 1- Buy a big padlock. 2- Throw the key into the ocean. 3- Find a stranger with stretched-out earlobes. 4- Attach padlock to earlobe. 5- Run.
@PyrBliss: If you don't swear when you're driving, you aren't paying enough attention to the road.