@Lisa_Laughs_: I wasn't trying to break you up, but she asked me what I did last night, and your name came up. *shrugs
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@matt___nelson: [getting escorted out of zoo] "I just wanted to see if the panda knew kung fu like in the movie"
@iwearaonesie: *gets out of bed* *steps on something* me: Ugh *turns light on* wife: What is it? me: The cat caught another smart car
@stockejock: Fool me once shame on you, Unless you're speaking Spanish, then that's eleven times and I probably deserved it.
@ThisOneSayz: Parenting doesn't prepare you for the awkward glances you get when a naked Ken doll falls out of your briefcase.