@Thedudish: I wasted 400 years of my life trying to figure out if I was a vampire.
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@ObscureGent: Home Alone teaches us that a child can't pack a suitcase but can create a fully functional flame thrower to harm a small New Jersey man.
@AndyAsAdjective: When the chips are down, be a good friend & say a few kind words to the chips. See if that helps.