@monicaheisey: i watched a bunch of spy movies and developed this extremely accurate FBI floorplan
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@donni: Worst Excuses For Being Late 5) Too many dragons 4) Out of dragons 3) I'm not late, Steve is 2) Time is fake 1) Made a list of excuses
@RidiculousSheri: I usually roll around in the magazine aisle at Barnes and Noble before a date because I want to smell nice, but I'm on a budget.
@Carbosly: Baby showers are so weird. It's like "hey, congrats on having a functional reproductive system".
@JohnLyonTweets: So the waiter said "The plate is hot" and I said "I'll be the judge of that, haha." Anyhoo, I met a lot of nice people at the burn center.