@monicaheisey: i watched a bunch of spy movies and developed this extremely accurate FBI floorplan
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@edfoxcomedy: "Doctor: Put the IV in. Nurse: The 4 what?" - chronic problem in Roman emergency rooms
@BrandonVine: Felt like my car was going to blow over from this wind today. I feel bad for the smart cars that are probably stuck in trees.
@TravLeBlanc: My girlfriend hates when I correct her grammar. She's like "What's with all the red pen marks in my diary?"